Patience
by fortheloveofsupernatural
Summary: "Sam, Jo...I think she's alive." Dean saw the building blow up. He know that Jo died. So, why is he now seeing her in his dreams, telling him she's alive and needs his help?
1. You're Out There

**Disclaimer: This will be the one and only disclaimer in this story. I do not own Supernatural or anything that is publically recognizable. The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author. Further, any publically recognizable material will be cited in the bottom of each chapter, and credit will be given where it is due after, or before, any songs, poems or quotes that are not the sole property of the author is used. Finally; all ideas and original characters in this story are the property of the author, and unlawful use of them is plagiarism and will be treated as such.**

****_Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you__  
><em>_I'm still alright to smile__  
><em>_Girl, I think bout you every day now__  
><em>_Was a time when I wasn't sure__  
><em>_But you set my mind at ease__  
><em>_There is no doubt you're in my heart now_

(Patience- Guns N' Roses)

Patience: Chapter One- You're Out There

_Flashback: Two months ago_

_Dean looked back at the building in time to see it blow up. He cringed, knowing that both Jo and Ellen were dead. He hated that Jo sacrificed herself to save him and Sammy. They would have found a way to save her, he knew it. Dean had just admitted to himself what Jo and everyone else had known all along. He as in love with her. As much as he tried to fight it, as much as he didn't want it to be true. Dean Winchester was in love with Jo Harvelle, and now she would never know. She would never truly know how much she meant to him._

_End flashback_

Dean got into the Impala and slammed the door shut. He was having a shitty morning and wanted to get the hell out of dodge. "Sammy, come on, let's go. We're wasting time." Dean yelled at Sam, who was still at the back of the car, doing only god knows what.

"Alright, alright, I'm coming," Sam sighed and got in the car, "If I didn't know any better Dean, I would think you were trying to run away from the memories of this place." Sam looked at Dean with sympathy. Sam knew how Dean felt about Jo, even if his older brother never admitted it. It was written plain as day on his face since she died.

"What memories Sam? I have no memories here." Dean ground out from in between clenched teeth, he was _not_ thinking that they were in the same town where the Roadhouse used to be. He was _not_ thinking about the first time he met Jo. He was _not_ thinking about how she played Reo Speedwagon and then he couldn't get it out of his head for weeks. He was _not_ thinking about the promise he made to call her that he didn't keep.

Sam scoffed and rolled his eyes, but said nothing more on the matter. "So, where are we going now? Texas, Oregon, Jersey?"

"No, Connecticut. There's a mental hospital there that has had a major pick up in activity. None of the locals seem nervous about it, but supposedly there's some construction that's going to be done, and the ghosts seem pretty pissed." Dean said without taking his eyes off the road."Sammy, do me a favor and put in the Guns N' Roses tape for me."

Sam looked at his brother with confusion on his face for a few seconds before doing as he was told. Dean found Guns N' Roses to be a 'chick band' and only ever listened to them when Jo was helping them. "Dean, it's okay to miss her, to miss them. Bobby and I do. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

Dean pulled the car over and slammed on the brakes, "For the last time, I _do not_ miss her. I am _not_ in love with her. Okay? So just drop it, or you can get your ass out of my car and walk to Connecticut." Dean glared at Sam before pulling the car on the road and driving well past the speed limit. About 25 minutes into their drive "Patience" by Guns N' Roses came on, and Dean smiled. It was always Jo's favorite song from them, and he knew all the words to the song because of it. He held back tears as the song went through the first verse to the chorus.

Sam looked over at Dean and frowned when he saw the tears in his brother's eyes. He knew the significance of this song to him. Knew that this was the song Jo forced Dean to listen to over and over again; that this was the song that Dean sung in the shower, in his sleep, cleaning his guns, anytime he thought about Jo.

**xxxXXXxxxXXX**

They drove straight to Connecticut; much to Sam's annoyance. It would have been nice to stop somewhere to sleep. Instead, they took shifts driving the 27 hours it took to get from Nebraska to Connecticut. Once they were by the hospital Dean decided they should stop somewhere to get some shut eye and start out fresh in the morning. Unfortunately, the only place close was a hotel attatched to the Casino in town. Sam sighed and gave Dean a tired look. "Dude, lets just stop. It's only for one night. We both need sleep, and you smell like ass."

Dean grumbled and drove to the hotel. Once they checked in, Dean went and found a bar in town, it reminded him of the Roadhouse; cheap beer, good food, and a pretty blonde waiting on tables. He stayed until closing and then drove back to the hotel and crashed. He tried to sleep as little as possible. When he slept, he thought. Mostly about Jo, sometimes about Jo and him together. Other times, he just couldn't sleep at all. Tonight looked to be a thinking about Jo night. He knew he shouldn't have listened to Guns N' Roses today. He knew that when "Patience" came on he should have turned off the radio. But he didn't, he couldn't. It felt like a crime against Jo's memory to turn off the song because it made him sad. If he ignored everything that made him think about Jo, he would have to sit in a room with white walls and nothing else. As Dean slipped further into a restless sleep, he began to dream.

_It was quiet, too quiet for anything good to be happening. Dean looked around hesitantly, trying to find what was staring at him. He knew he was being watched, that something was staring at him, hiding just out of view. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned around, gun ready to shoot. When Dean saw who had tapped him, he dropped his gun and stared, gaping. "How? How are you here? How are you alive? You…you were blown up." He shook his head and blinked, making sure he wasn't seeing things._

"_It's me Dean. I'm here, I'm alive. I don't know how, or where I am. But, I'm alive. Please, you have to help me." Jo whispered and caressed Deans cheek, slipping away._

"_Jo! Jo! Wait! Where are you going? Jo…" Dean shouted in his sleep and felt something shaking him._

"_Dean…Dean wake up, it's only a dream. Dean, wake up dude."_

"Jo!" Dean woke with a start, sitting up and gasping for air. He rubbed his face, looking around to get his barings. "Sammy?" He looked at his brother with pain in his eyes.

"Yeah Dean, I'm right here. What was that all about?"

"Sam, Jo…I think she's alive." Dean sighed and closed his eyes again.

**A/N: That's chapter one. Songs used are "Patience" by Guns N' Roses; and the themes in that song will be seen throughout this entire story. The title comes from "Somewhere Out There" by Our Lady Peace. There really is an old mental hospital in Norwich. They are going to start doing construction on it at some point. ****Ghost Hunters**** proved that it really is haunted. And yes, there is a casino and hotel right by. **


	2. Disease

_And even as I wander,  
>I'm keeping you in sight.<br>You're a candle in the wind,  
>On a cold, dark winter's night.<br>And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might._

(I Can't Fight This Feeling – Reo Speedwagon)

Patience: Chapter Two- Disease

Sam looked at Dean like he was crazy. "Dean, have you lost your _mind? _Jo is dead. We watched it happen. She's not alive and kicking somewhere. How much did you have to drink last night?"

Dean sighed and shook his head, "I know it sounds crazy. I know that, but Sam, I know what I heard, and what I saw. It was _real_. Jo is alive, somewhere. I don't know how, or why, but she is. We need to find her Sammy. She needs us to find her. She's scared. She doesn't know where she is." Dean looked at Sam, begging him to understand.

"Fine Dean. Once we're done here, we'll go on a wild goose chase for Jo. Will that make you feel better?" Sam asked, humoring his brother.

Dean nodded and laid back down, trying to get a few more hours of sleep before he had to be up killing bad guys all day.

**XxxXXXxxxXXX**

Sam woke Dean up at 7:30 in the morning, shaking his shoulder and pulling his pillow out from under his head. "Dean, come on. Time to get up. Ghosts to kill, people to talk to." When Dean didn't move, Sam sighed and smacked him with the pillow.

Dean sat up quickly, glaring, "Bitch."

Sam laughed, "Jerk," he walked over to the bag with Deans clothes in it, "Come on, get up and shower. You still smell like ass. I'll go get some food." Sam tossed Dean a shirt and a pair of well worn jeans.

Dean mumbled an answer and walked into the bathroom. He cranked the water to full blast and stripped off his boxers, stepping into the scalduing hot water, not caring how it burned his skin and made it red and angry. He didn't care that there was so much steam in the shower that he felt like he could barely even breathe. It was a nice reprive from the emotional pain he carried with himself on a daily basis. _I should have been the one to set the bomb off, I've lived a life. Jo was too young, too good for that. She doesn't deserve what they're probably doing to her in hell. _Dean let his mind wander to last night in the Germano's Grill and Pub. His waitress was a cute blonde thing, no older than 20 or 21. She reminded him so much of how Jo used to be. Maybe that's why he had that dream last night.

He pondered this until the water turned cold. His waitress didn't look like Jo much. They were both young, with long blonde hair. But that's where the similarities stopped. The watiress had blue eyes, and Jo's were brown. Jo had the most gorgeous smile he had ever seen, it made even the coldest of hunters melt. The waitress' smile was average. Dean shook his head and stepped out of the shower drying off and dressing quickly.

Dean walked out of the bathroom and found Sam sitting at the small table in their room, staring at his laptop. "So, check this out Dean, I asked around and it turns out that this hospital shut down about fifteen years ago really quick. One day it was up and running, and the next day, nothing. All the nurses and doctors left, patients were let free on the streets. Files were never properly taken care of, and all the medical equiptment was just left. They were being investigated for the way they treated their patients and were getting in a lot of trouble. Turns out, there are _tons _of paupers graves all over the grounds, probably over 100, not to mention the actual cemeteries, which are Jewish, so they can't be touched. and it goes on for acres and acres above ground, not to mention the tunnels. I think we're going to need help on this one."

Dean stared at Sam, his mouth gaping. He had expected one or two ghosts, not hundreds, plus graves they can't dig up. "What about nurses and doctors housing?"

Sam sighed and pulled up a picture of the hospital, "Here is where the doctors and nurses stayed," Sam pointed out a couple of smaller house-like buildings on the grounds, "This is where the worst offenders were," he tapped his screen again, "And here is where most of the population was. The thing is, a lot of the people in there were only bi-polar or schizophrenic, but the doctors used shock therapy or did lobotomies on them; making them even more dangerous. Some of them are still homeless, and on the streets. Its crazy man, I've never heard of such a mess, especially in such a small town."

Dean shook his head, "So, what the hell are we supposed to do? Torch the entire place? Do an exorcism? Sam, it might be better to just let these people deal with it themselves. It seems that the locals all know about it and steer clear of the place. We can't just torch bodies, and it would take us years to dig them all up." He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, stressed out.

"I know what you mean Dean, really I do, but I think we need to at least check it out. Maybe its not a resident that we need to take care of, but a doctor or a nurse or something. You never know..."Sam began but was cut off by a knock on the door.

Dean walked over to the door and pulled it open, "What? Checkout isn't for another three hours lady. Just leave us alone, we'll be out of your hair soon." Dean looked down at who was at the door, expecting it to be the maid, but instead he was met with the blue eyes of his waitress from last night.

The waitress looked at Dean nervously, "Hi. So, I know this is gonna sound all types of crazy, but my name is Bridget. Are you Dean Winchester?"

Dean nodded dumbly, "Yeah, why?" He was nervous, people only ever asked who he or his brother were when someone was hurt.

Bridget smiled a little bit, "Thank god. My parents were killed by vampires a couple of months ago. I heard from a guy named Gordon that you are the go to guy to help me with my problem. I know where the vampires are, if that helps any?" She looked up at him through her eyelashes, biting her lip.

In that moment, Dean saw more similarities between this girl and Jo. He shot a quick look to Sam who nodded his head quickly. "Yeah. My brother Sam and I can help you. Why don't you come on in." Dean ushered the girl into their room and closed the door behind her. "Now, how do you know it was vampires that killed your parents?"

"They tried to kill me too, but I got away." Bridget sat down in one of the chairs closest to the door.

Sam and Dean gaped at her, and Dean hit Sam to get his to say something, "You got away? How did you get away?"

Bridget bit her lip, "A girl named Joanna helped me. She distracted them, and it gave me enough time to get out of the house. She then helped me protect myself so they couldn't find me."

Dean blinked a couple of times, "Tell me something, did this Joanna have long blonde hair?"

Bridget nodded but looked confused, "Yeah, why?"

Sam sighed and rubbed his face as Dean got up and called Bobby, "Because, last we knew she was dead."

**A/N: The songs are by Reo Speedwagon and Matchbox 20, you can find all songs used on m LJ page which is linked as my homepage on here. You can also find all character studies on my polyvore. Which is fortheloveofsupernatural(dot)polyvore(dot)com. I took a few liberties with the story about the state hospital, but 99% of it is true. Please review and let me know what you think? Xoxo, Mini J. **


	3. Ghost of Me

_Don't think that I can take another empty moment  
>Don't think that I can fake another hollow smile<br>It's not enough just to be lonely  
>Don't think that I could take another talk about it <em>

(Bed of Lies- Matchbox Twenty)

Patience: Chapter Three – Ghost Of Me

Dean walked into the bathroom and closed the door, talking to Bobby, "Bobby, it's Dean. We've got a situation here."

"_Well boy, it would help to know where _here_ is. Ya can't just be gone for weeks and not tell me idjit." _

"Bobby, I'm sorry. Sam and I are in Connecticut. We're doing this crazy ass mental hospital case, but that's not why I called," Dean sighed and closed his eyes, "A girl is in our room. She specifically asked for me."

"_She's not pregnant is she?"_

"No Bobby. Look, this girl..." Dean rubbed his face, "Her parents were killed by vampires a couple months ago and she was told we could help her. Before you say anything, just keep listening there's more," Dean paused, calming himself and willing his leg to stop shaking, "The girl, she said that...she said Jo saved her." Dean felt tears stinging his eyes, and forced himself to blink them back and not let them out.

"_Are you sure it was _your_ Jo, Dean? There's lots of Joanna's out there that go by Jo..."_

Dean nodded, even though he knew Bobby couldn't see him. "Bobby, this girl was sent to Gordon. It was _our_ Jo." Dean stressed the word our. Dean heard Bobby. Jo wasn't his, she _wasn't. _Jo didn't belong to anybody. "Bobby, what do we do? We saw the explosion. We saw her die..." Dean couldn't hold back the tears anymore and let his voice crack on the last word.

"_Well, the only thing you can do is help this girl and then try to find Jo. She's alive for a reason Dean."_

Dean sighed, deciding against telling Bobby about the dream he had, "Yeah. Thanks Bobby. Call you soon." He hung up and slid to the floor, willing his entire body to stop shaking.

**XxxXXXxxxXXX**

While Dean was talking to Bobby, Sam was with Bridget, looking up all the information he could on vampires in Rhode Island, "Where did you say you were from again?" Sam asked, not looking up from his computer.

Bridget ran her hand through her hair, "North Kingston. Why?"

"Well, there's no records of vampires there, but there are some in Westerly, although all records show that the hearts were burned." Sam bit his fingernail, his hair falling into his face, "Do you know anything about the vampire lore in Rhode Island?" Sam looked at Bridget, his eyebrows knit in confusion; never had a case been this hard to find information on before.

Bridget shook her head, "Not really. I know that there were a couple young girls in the 1700s Sarah and Mercy, but both of them were killed." She shrugged, she had never paid attention to any of that stuff, not finding it important.

Sam sighed, "Alright, at least it's a start. Dean, you ready? We need to look at the hospital in the daylight and then go deal with these vampires."

Bridget looked over at Sam, "The hospital? Why do you need to go there?"

"There's been more activity there than normal. But, we need to try and figure out who's haunting the place first."

Bridget held back a laugh, "Ummm...try over 500 spirits, easy." She wrinkled her nose up in thought, "There was this doctor and his assistant, Doctor Zanders and Chrissy. They were killed in the tunnels by a patient that Doctor Zanders did a lobotomy on. It was about five years before the state started their investigation into the hospital; and around 10 years before it shut down for good. As far as I know, they just closed that tunnel down. I don't think they ever buried the bodies; the director just put them in as missing persons. I can show you where it is if that would help?"

Sam smiled, relieved that they might finally have an answer to the problem. "Yeah, that would be awesome."

Dean opened the bathroom door and clapped his hands together, "Let's go send some crazy bitches back where they belong."

Sam glanced at his brother and nodded, not commenting on the fact that it was obvious Dean had been crying. "Yeah, Bridget gave me a hint as to who we might be dealing with. It's not any of the patients, but a doctor and a nurse. I'll fill you in on the rest in the car." Sam walked out of the hotel room with Bridget following close behind.

Dean sighed and followed behind them, wishing he could just go back to bed. Sam and Bridget were in the car waiting for him, so he quickly started the car and popped in a random tape.

"Dean, I swear to God, if I have to listen to another Guns N' Roses song, my ears will bleed." Sam sighed.

"My car, my rules, my tunes. So, what's the deal with the hospital?"

"Basically, Doctor Zanders and his assistant, Chrissy were killed in one of the tunnels by a patient that the doctor had done a lobotomy on. Instead of burying the bodies, the director of the hospital closed the tunnel and reported the two as missing persons."

Dean shook his head, "What happened to the basket case? Did they catch him?"

Bridget laughed, "Nope. He escaped and is still running around the town. We all call him Crazy Jimmy. He lives in the abandoned hobo house about ten minutes from here. He actually is really nice. It's a shame. From what I gather, he wasn't really crazy. He was bi-polar and not properly medicated."

Dean laughed humorlessly, "It sounds like its a good thing this place was shut down then."

"Yeah, but they just let a lot of the patients go. Some of them really _were_ sick and needed help. It's just awful," Bridget said sadly. "Turn here." She said quietly when they got close to the church. "You're going to walk through the church to get to the tunnels. This is where they were going when they were killed."

Dean nodded and turned where Bridget said to, shutting off the car and turning to face her. "Are you staying here or coming in with us?"

"Dean," Sam started, "You can't ask that of someone, it's not fair."

"Of course I'm coming with you. I'm not sitting in the car while you two get lost down there," Bridget huffed out, crossing her arms.

Sam sighed and got out of the car; pushing the seat forward to let Bridget out. "Okay, fine, just be careful and stay with one of us.

**XxxXXXxxxXXX**

"Down those stairs," Bridget pointed to a stairway that was almost hidden by all the cobwebs in front of it, "Just a warning, you might want to breathe into your shirt. I don't know how much asbestos is down there. And watch your step going down." She walked to the stairs, not looking to see if Sam and Dean were following her.

"How do you know so much about this place?" Sam asked from behind her.

"Everyone around here knows about this place," Bridget laughed, "And my best friends dad broke in a couple years back and took some videos and stuff." She shrugged and walked down the last step onto a dirt floor.

Sam and Dean followed her, and Dean quickly grabbed a flashlight, turning it on. He looked around the hallway and wrinkled his nose in disgust, "Okay, that is just gross." No matter where he turned, there was mold, asbestos, spiders, and what looked to be dried blood.

Bridget sighed, "This isn't even the worst of it. We have to head further in, that way." She pointed to her left and started walking.

Sam laughed quietly at Dean's panicked expression and followed Bridget, ducking under the doorway so he didn't hit his head. "How far in do we have to go?"

Bridget looked at Sam over her shoulder, "About another 80 feet. Can you guys not handle it?" She chuckled.

Sam laughed, "No, we can handle it, I was just wondering."

The further into the tunnel they got, the worse it got. There were chairs bolted to the floor that was not rotting wood, chains on the walls to hold patients that got too out of control and claw marks from people obviously trying to dig their way out of the tunnel. When they got to where the murder had happened, there was a hole in the wall that Bridget stopped next to, "Here it is. If you look in that hole, there should be pieces of the doctor and his assistant.

As Dean was walking up to the hole to look inside, he felt a constricting hand on his shoulder, and ice cold breath on his neck. "Sam, what's touching me?" Dean waited a moment and when he didn't hear anything, he addressed his brother again, "Sammy? What's touching me? I swear to god, if there's a crazy ass ghost standing over me with a knife and you're not doing anything..." He looked over his shoulder expecting to see the doctor or his assistant, and blinked a couple of times at the scene in front of him. Sam was staring at a spot on the wall as if he just saw a ghost. "Sam...Sammy, you in there?"

Sam shook his head and turned to face his brother, "Yeah. Sorry, I just thought I saw someone."

"Well, seeing as we're in a haunted loony bin, I think seeing someone would be normal." Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

"No dude, someone we _know_. I could have sworn I just saw Jo."

Dean looked at his brother and sighed, "So it's crazy for me to say I saw her in a _dream_, but if you fucking see her in real life, it's fine? Let's just burn these bones and go back to the hotel to figure this out."

**A/N: Soooooooooo sorry for the long wait. I still don't fully know how Jo will be coming back, but it will be next chapter. I had half of this written for like, a week. Songs used are "Bed Of Lies" by Matchbox 20 and "Ghost Of Me" by Daughtry. I'm not fully satisfied with this chapter, but I needed to get something out there. Until next time, xoxo. **


End file.
